Coping
It was all like a dream. So suddenly it came. And just as quickly, gone.
My insides were heaving, I went down on all fours. Several times. Throughout the night. My three year-old said, “Mom, are you hurt?” My God, he is three. It made me cry. Even more. So much more.
My husband cradled me. I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t tell which hurt more ANYMORE. But I went through it all. Until the last of the massive clots have torn themselves out of my exhausted body, and presently, turned into painless blood flow. Until the last of the sobs have drowned away all the hope, longing, and fears - feelings which have now been purportedly replaced with fond memories. With effort. By making little steps. Every day.
There is a thing called grief. And there is a thing called coping.
There is strength in coping with grief. There is fortitude that comes out of the experience, something we don’t learn anywhere else. We learn to cry our cries. But we also learn to smile despite our tears, and maybe for some, after all the tears are gone. We fight our grief with all our might. Every waking moment of every day. If only for the sake of what’s left of life. Especially for their sake. Maybe.
That’s what makes the world go round.
June 15th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
Cherie,
I’m a phone call away. Hugs to my inaanak and Matthew:)
June 15th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
….walking slowly ahead of you in the grieving process sis…looking back at you each minute….gliding my hand towards you until you reach my hands and walk at pace with me, back to this still beautiful thing we call life, yah, for the sake of what’s left with life and the angels looking over at us now in heaven…..
June 15th, 2009 at 7:45 pm
Dear Madi Che,
We sympathize you. I know the pain and feeling you are having now but I believe you are strong. I could relate to you. It also happen to our very first baby where the pain and feeling is more intense bacause of the excitement we had longing for a baby. But now I know and understand the reason why. GOD wants us to be emotionally and mentally prepared for such a new great responsibility in so called LIFE. HE may had taken one but Blessed us with two. HE always gives more than what we ask…Take care and move on.
June 15th, 2009 at 9:06 pm
thank you, friends. i’m fine. God is good.
June 15th, 2009 at 9:24 pm
Che, I know how great the pain and the sadness is that you have in ur heart right now. But as always all we need to do is to pick-up the pieces that makes us whole again. My heart is bleeding as I was writing this I dont know why maybe because I ‘ve had my fair share of losses as well. Its like everything that you’ve been longing for has been taken away too soon. But this is life. You just need to keep going. Keep the faith. Be strong. Be happy. I am thankful for my beautiful son…You have a wonderful family that loves you soooooo much and an angel above as everybody says. I miss you Che. I guess I’ll see you when I see you. Luv yah.
June 15th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
love you, too, mitch. and you, gay-gay, zen, and rhey. mitchie, tatlo na anak ko sa taas. the pain is like a thousand daggers. but you are right. we just need to keep the faith. enjoy grant. he is truly beautiful. take care now.
June 16th, 2009 at 3:30 am
my dear cherie….. after reading this new entry of yours, i get to understand more that sometimes we have to undergo pain and the heartaches — for us to be strong. it may not be an easy process — but what you’re doing is right, take one step at a time. as the days go by, i regret to guarantee that the pain will never go away — but you will just get used to it. numb, as they say.
each and one of us have their share of loss and pain — one day, we all did start recovering our lives. i know your attempts to be back on track. it won’t happen overnight — but you’re getting there, girl.
and yes, what your friends above me told you — keep the faith, be strong and be happy. you deserve to be….
June 16th, 2009 at 5:58 am
yes, isn’t it true, jonas? can’t we just forego the pain. and the clinging to thin hope that goes with it? i used to be bitter over my grievances, but the Lord has been merciful, and granted me wisdom (or so i like to think) over the years. it is not bad that i have met and kept precious people by my side all this time, too. take care, sweetie. thank you…